


The Breakup

by inaudible_d



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-09
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-04-03 15:34:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4106044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inaudible_d/pseuds/inaudible_d
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Broken Sakumoto just because I'm a masochist like that. Written for <a href="http://arashirabu.livejournal.com/5154555.html">A Kiss, and All was Said - 2015</a>.</p>
    </blockquote>





	The Breakup

**Author's Note:**

> Broken Sakumoto just because I'm a masochist like that. Written for [A Kiss, and All was Said - 2015](http://arashirabu.livejournal.com/5154555.html).

  
a kiss, and all was said.  
**AN ARASHI FICTION QUEST.**  


  


  
**\- THE BREAKUP -**  
\----

  
It’s on a cold night in January when Jun finally makes his decision. He’s at home. In his bed. With Sho lying beside him. They’re lying on their sides, facing each other.

Jun runs the palm of his hand on Sho’s cheek after they pull away from a kiss. Not something so hot that would lead up to sex or anything similar to that. Only a sweet and gentle kiss that always leaves Jun with butterflies in his stomach. Sho loves to do that kind of kiss every once in a while, like he’s trying to remind them that they’re meant for each other.

But that night, instead of butterflies, Jun feels something else. Something that grips and squeezes his stomach in a way that makes it hurts. Something that fills Jun’s heart with emptiness, and mind with resolution.

So Jun, naturally follows his senses, says, “let’s break up,” while still holding Sho’s cheek softly.

“Hm?” is the response Sho gives.

“You hear me,” Jun replies.

Sho sighs, like the weight of the world just fell to his shoulders the moment Jun said those three words. He inhales and exhales and runs his fingers in Jun hair while letting silence fills the room.

Jun waits patiently like he always does when it comes to Sho. Surprisingly, he doesn’t really feel anything. Not anxious, not heartbroken, not expectant. He simply waits for Sho to give a response. Because what he said wasn’t a question, it wasn’t also an order. He was just stating fact.

And when Sho finally opens his mouth, Jun only feels glad because his waiting is over. That, and not anything else.

“Yeah we should,” is Sho’s answer. He nods to his words, probably tries to convince himself about the decision.

“We should,” Jun replies again firmly.

“Let me stay the night, at least? Before I go?” Sho asks, unsure of his own question.

“Okay. Not that I’d kick you out in the middle of the night anyway,” Jun agrees.

They sleep curling up on the arms of each other that night, like every other night they have spent together. Like Jun didn’t ask for a breakup and Sho didn’t say yes to that.

\---

The next morning Jun wakes up to find himself in Sho’s arms while one of his arm is clinging on Sho’s waist and the other on Sho’s shoulder. He looks to Sho’s sleeping face then smiles to himself. The sight of Sho when he has his guard down always make him feel calm and content.

Jun moves his hand to Sho’s cheek down to his jaw. He moves the fingers to trail Sho’s collarbones and settles his hand on Sho’s chest afterward. He savors every movement that follows Sho’s breaths and feels the beats of Sho’s heart. This is going to be the last moment, he thinks to himself.

Or is it? The little devil in his head tries to shake his firm resolution.

Sho’s eyes flutter open and Sho is awake. He smiles at Jun and Jun smiles back.

“Ohayou,” Sho says with his sleepy voice.

“Breakfast?” Jun replies. Because as long as he wants to stay in bed, they have made a decision last night and they have to keep moving with their lives.

Lives. Jun thinks, suddenly feels bitter. _Separate_ lives. Jun adds just to remind himself because he’s masochist like that.

Sho nods to the question and Jun gives a light peck on Sho’s lips before gets up and walks to the kitchen.

Jun feels arms around his waist when he’s already in the kitchen, halfway of frying the eggs.

“That smells good,” Sho murmurs while nuzzling his nose in Jun’s neck.

Jun doesn’t give a response to that, just like he always does. Does he forget? He thinks to himself. Does he forget that we already agreed to move on with our lives? Our separated lives? He continues thinking. He still works on the task at hand, but his mind has shifted to something else.

He doesn’t want to ask Sho, though. Partly because it’s morning and Jun is not a morning person and just the imagination about having that conversation again in the morning has already given him a headache. The other is that Jun secretly wish that Sho actually forgets about it.

Even if he forgets, the fact cannot be changed, Jun hears the realistic part in his mind states.

So Jun sighs. Sho already moves from Jun's back to the front door, to pick up his morning paper, to the dining table. He unfolds and reads it quietly while Jun continues preparing their breakfast.

When Jun has done with the preparation, he puts everything on the table and is going to sit down. Sho stops him, signaling him to take the seat beside him and Jun obeys. Then they eat in silence, just like how they always do.

“Thank you for the meal,” Sho wipes his mouth with a napkin after he’s done eating. Jun does the same.

Sho suddenly turns his head to Jun after that and smiles. He cups Jun’s face and leans closer to kiss him.

The kiss tastes like rice and misoshiru and tamagoyaki and cha but Jun doesn’t find himself protesting. He closes his eyes and returns the kiss. That is when he feels the butterflies in his stomach starts to flutter. He moans at the warm and fuzzy feeling that fills his stomach and Sho decides that it’s the best time to pull away from the kiss.

Sho pats Jun’s head and ruffles his hair, and suddenly Jun feels like he’s about to cry. He holds back, of course. Him crying is the last thing he wants Sho to see at this moment.

Sho stands up right after that and Jun follows. Sho goes to the bedroom and Jun cleans up the table.

Jun just finished putting the dishes in the dishwasher when he suddenly hears a gentle thud of the front door.

“Sho?” he calls out. He waits for an answer but there’s nothing.

He rushes to the bedroom to check for Sho. He doesn’t find Sho there, of course. Along with his clothes and phone and wallet and notebook.

That’s when it hits Jun. No. He thinks to himself. So he doesn’t forget. Then why? He numbly walks to the sofa in the living room.

But maybe he just goes to the laundry or something. He tries to think of lame excuses. No. It’s. Jun desperately reclines his head on the sofa.

He trails his finger to his own lips where the taste of Sho’s kiss still lingers. Is it really happening? He asks himself.

He will come back. Something in his mind snaps and says it. He will come back. At least he will say goodbye before he really leaves for good, right? He’s probably just out to clear his mind or something. Or he gets an urgent call from his mom. But he’s definitely not leaving. Not yet. Not before he says proper goodbye. Jun nods at his own thought. He just has to wait like he always does. Sho will come back like he always does. To say his last goodbye, that is, but he will come back, Jun assures himself.

Jun is so caught up in his own thought he doesn’t see a small sealed envelope on the living room’s coffee table. It was placed on top a slightly bigger, but already opened, envelope with Sho’s name written beside someone else’s name. A woman’s name. The one that made him and Sho had a little argument last night. The one that leads Jun to his decision last night. Jun really doesn’t see it probably because his subconscious mind refuses to. Or for whatever reason it is. All Jun knows is Sho leaves without saying goodbye and he has to wait for Sho to come back to say his proper goodbye.

So then Jun waits, but Sho never come back.  


\----

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel of this on [here](http://nutty-arashi.livejournal.com/40878.html) by octavialao. It's really beautiful. You should read it.


End file.
